Angel Shots
by Mistress Whimsy
Summary: Part 1 of the Angel Incidents Series. You know you're drunk when you let an angel lick salt off your neck. Sillyfic, SLASH. Dean/Cas


_I was watching 99 Problems the other day. Drunk Cas makes me giggle every damn time I see it, and the thought of Cas and Dean drunk together was just too good to pass up. I'm also trying to get as much writing done as I can before I go to college. ^_^. I'm not sure whether to classify this as crack, fluff or just sheer stupidity. You decide. _

_...*..._

There were lots of bad combinations in the world. Sam and demon blood, for instance. Or coffee beans and pancakes, for another (birthday hangovers + long night hunting werewolves = mistaking coffee beans for chocolate chips). There was one, however, that was likely up there in the top five, and that was Dean and boredom. Throw in desperation and you had yourself a mixture for pure disaster.

Which was probably why Dean was now hiding in a dark room upstairs, lining up the necessary requirements for tequila shots.

Had he the option, the Hunter would have run already. Sam, however, had enlisted Castiel's help in keeping Dean in check and the angel was doing a marvelous job of it. Every time Dean so much as stuck a foot outside Castiel would appear in front of him, looking tired and annoyed. He would say nothing, just stare at Dean with those eyes that were getting more expressive by the hour, until the Hunter would sigh in defeat and go back inside.

Salt, limes, tequila, shot glasses. What was he missing? The Hunter sat back on his heels and stared first at the assorted items, then around the room. A drinking buddy. That's what he was missing.

Standing, Dean slid open a small, ancient window that was nearly painted shut and stuck his arm outside. Within seconds Cas appeared in the doorway, thinking he was attempting another escape.

"Cas!" Dean shut the window and threw himself down on the floor beside the tequila. "Sit."

The angel stared at him dubiously. "You were not trying to escape?"

"Nope." Dean pulled a knife from his jeans pocket and flicked it open. "Come on. Sit."

"On the floor?" Castiel took a few steps forward, looking perplexed. He did that very well, Dean thought with a chuckle. The poor guy spent over half his time being completely confused by everything going on around him.

Cas glanced to his left. A perfectly good table and two chairs were set by the window. Dean followed his gaze and immediately shook his head.

"If this turns out how I want it to, I'll just end up falling out of that chair." Dean pulled the knife through one of the limes, cutting it quickly into sections.

Slowly, the angel sat on the floor, right in front of Dean. He'd yet to grasp the meaning of personal space. No matter how many times Dean reminded him, Cas always ended up _right _beside him. Now, as he settled himself into a cross-legged position, his knees brushed Dean's. The Hunter was tempted to remind him yet again but decided that, tonight at least, he didn't really mind the closeness.

"Alcohol made my head hurt," Cas mentioned matter-of-factly.

Dean nodded. "I remember. How much did you have to drink to get there?"

Castiel frowned thoughtfully. "I believe I had consumed around twenty bottles before I began to really feel the effects."

Despite the fact that Dean had known that Cas had pretty much drunk the entire store he still felt a shock of surprise. "Wow. Lucky you're an angel, any human would be dead. So this won't do much more than give you a buzz. Maybe. Won't make your head hurt."

Cas's frown remained firmly fixed on his face, only now it was directed at the Hunter. "Will this help you stay?" He asked finally.

Dean paused. He set down the lime slices and picked up another to cut. He had nearly finished it before he answered, "Yeah. It'll help."

"Okay. What do I do?"

"Easy. You take the salt." Dean licked his own wrist to give the salt something to stick to and tipped the shaker over it. "Lick." He licked it off. "Then take a shot." Again, he demonstrated. "And then suck the lime."

Cas watched the demonstration with an unreadable expression. He seemed oddly focused on Dean's wrist for a moment, until he looked up into the Hunter's eyes. It was something else he did that Dean wasn't quite used to. He could meet a person's eyes; hell, he could stare just about anyone down without flinching, but Cas was different. This wasn't a contest, this was a complete lack of boundaries, a vulnerability. Everything that was Castiel was in his eyes, and when he met Dean's gaze he just _gave _that to him. Not only that, he expected Dean to give back, though the Hunter wasn't sure if any of this was conscious or not. He was an angel, after all. He didn't have these human issues.

"_Why?_" Cas asked finally. He sounded almost disgusted.

Dean rolled his eyes and handed him the salt. "Just do it."

Castiel continued to stare at him but he shrugged out of both his coats and rolled up his sleeve. When Cas's tongue darted out to lick his own wrist Dean found himself oddly and somewhat unwillingly fascinated. Despite his best efforts the angel was still untouched and watching him do something that could be translated into anything even remotely sexual to himself was...the Hunter quickly shied away from the thought and instead took a long swig directly from the bottle before pouring out Cas's shot.

"Shot," he reminded the angel.

"Right." Cas picked up the glass doubtfully but, at Dean's encouraging look, knocked it back just like Dean had. Immediately, he made a face and swiped the lime from Dean's hand.

"That is revolting."

Dean chuckled and poured out two more shots as the angel sucked a slice of lime. "Shut up and drink."

Dean knew his limit. He'd learned at an early age (too early) that he _should _stop at bottle one, and that if for some reason he was heading for bottle three someone had to stop him or alcohol poisoning was going to knock him on his ass. Or kill him. He also knew that if he could see the bottom of the bottle, things were going to get interesting.

Oh, look. He could see the bottom of the bottle.

"Cas." It came out sounding like cash. "You buzzed yet?"

"Mm." Cas peered at his shot glass and smiled slightly. "I think so. My head feels...fuzzy."

Dean laughed. "Angel buzz!" It would have been funny sober. Drunk, Dean thought it was the greatest thing he'd ever heard. "Shots with an angel. Angel shots," Dean sniggered.

Castiel cocked his head. He was still smiling slightly and it made Dean smile, too. The angel looked so much more relaxed, more _human_, when he smiled, and in his drunken state that seemed to have special significance. "You're very drunk. Maybe you should stop."

"Nah." Dean reached for the bottle but his fingers didn't want to grip it. He looked pleadingly at the angel, who shook his head and took the bottle from him.

He was still smiling.

Cas poured out the shots and pushed the salt towards the Hunter, who was starting to sway a little. "Are you in a better mood now?"

Dean grabbed at the salt and squinted at Cas; what? Bad mood. Hm. Had he been in a bad mood? "Sure," he said cheerfully. He lifted the salt at eye level, and then had an idea.

Dean's ideas were usually bad at the best of times. An idea from his alcohol-addled brain would be beyond disastrous. Especially when there were girls involved. Wait...Cas wasn't a girl...Dean glanced up from the salt and saw Cas watching him, head cocked again. Did he care? Nah. Cas wouldn't know the difference and he could tease him about it later.

"Cas." The name came out correctly this time. "C'mere."

Castiel's eyebrows went up slightly. "I can't get much closer."

Dean rolled his eyes. "_Here._" He patted the space right beside him.

The angel looked perplexed again but he got up and reseated himself right beside Dean. He looked at Dean expectantly.

"Okay." Dean licked his fingers and smeared them across his neck. "You." He shook the salt over his skin. "Lick the salt off my neck."

Castiel blinked. Once. Twice. "Why?"

Dean shrugged. "Why not?"

The angel stared. And then stared some more. He glanced at Dean's neck, then at the Hunter's expectant gaze. "Is this normal?"

Dean shrugged again. "Sorta. Just do it."

Blue eyes continued to stare strangely at him for a moment. Then Cas leaned in. Dean tilted his head to the side, went to reach for a lime and then Cas's tongue was _there_, soft and wet and as quick and delicate as a cat. Fingers froze around the slice, then tightened as a gasp escaped the Hunter's lips. The sensation was subtle and gentle and went zinging straight between his legs.

The angel sat back and did something unusual. He looked down, away from Dean's gaze, with a tiny smile that was almost shy.

Sober Dean would have brushed it off and buried it as far as it would go. Smashed Dean melted.

Without looking up, Cas went to reach for a shot but Dean snatched it away. "Uh uh," he said with a shake of his head.

Before Cas could ask Dean popped a lime slice in his mouth and did something he was probably going to regret later. He tapped Cas's chin to get him to look up and leaned forward. Cas looked surprised and yup, that was definitely shyness. He said nothing, merely met Dean halfway, slowly, not even questioning why they were taking the lime before the shot. Their lips barely brushed but it sent another delicious little shock shivering through Dean's body.

"Dean?" Cas just barely pulled back enough to say the name. Dean saw the tip of his tongue sweep across his lips, brushing away a few beads of juice that had collected there. Was he still drunk? He suddenly felt _way _too focused to be drunk.

"Yeah?" he asked after removing the lime.

Cas cocked his head and again there was that tiny little smile. He smiled more with his eyes than with his mouth, Dean thought, and somehow that made it far more expressive than an ordinary smile. "I think I like it better this way."

Ah, hell with it, Dean thought. He slid a hand around the back of the angel's neck and gave him a drunken, sloppy kiss.

They never did get around to finishing the last of the tequila.

...*...

_Yeah. I'm into silliness lately. :-D. I meant this to be a stand alone one shot but I'm thinking it's highly likely there will be a sequel. The coffee beans and pancakes line is a poke at/shout out to my friend Blue. He'll know what it means. :-D_


End file.
